Having changed residences eight times since 1998, we never unpacked our books. That is until a few days ago when we finally installed bookshelves in our latest (and possibly, our last) house. The shelves put our distinctive mark on the house. They reveal our fondness for the written word. Here are some photos of the kids enjoying our new little home library. It's such a joy to see them so serious about reading. Even our youngest Faye "reads", making up stories as she looks at the pictures and words on each page. Our eldest Noelle has been reading since she was around five years old. When she learned, we were so happy and said to her, "Noelle, you are now a reader. You now have the freedom to find the answers to your questions for yourself. You no longer need to depend on us so much for knowledge." There are moments though when we sort of wish Noelle didn't know how to read yet. Today she had read something about King Solomon and asked, "Why didn't God disapprove that King Solomon had so many wives?" After a quick glance at each other, we gave our best answer at the moment, "Let's read some more about that and talk again later." Oh well.
Last weekend, we read an article in the July/August 2009 news digest of Healthy Options entitled Alternative Medicine: A New Understanding by Burton Goldberg. It discusses another aspect of life over which families can regain control: health. Our family members can be much more effective citizens of the world if they are in the best of health. However, there is a general impression that peak health is elusive because sources of illness abound in the environment and protection from them can only be gotten from the products of medical science. But it's difficult to believe that human beings can be so fragile having survived as a species for so long before medical science even existed. In the article Goldberg explains that conventional medical thinking is disease-oriented and not exactly authoritative when it comes to maintaining health. Goldberg further discusses that health is achieved not merely through the application of cures when sickness is already present but ideally through the proper care of the whole organism which will make it impervious to most causes of disease. This, he says, is the basis of alternative medical practice. It was cancer that caused us to seriously inquire how we could take charge of our health. Close relatives became afflicted with the disease. After getting over the initial shock, we started talking to doctors and reading some books about it. We eventually found out that the prevalence of cancer as well as the seeming explosion of other strange diseases in recent decades is an indicator of how ignorant we have become about taking care of our bodies. We also learned that certain changes in lifestyle would dramatically improve our health. We tried these suggested behavior modifications ourselves particularly those concerning our eating habits. We made the changes gradually, starting in the year 2000. First, we took out pork from our regular daily diet, then other meats one by one until in 2005 we became vegetarian-at-home. (We almost always eat home-prepared vegetarian meals unless there are gatherings with relatives. Food is an emotional issue with some of our relatives so we eat the healthiest that is available during these occasions.) What also helped is that we made the changes as a family. The fact that we are in solidarity with each other as we improve our lifestyle strengthens our resolve and our commitment. Incidentally, the kids are stricter vegetarians not having been conditioned to prefer animal products early in their lives as the rest of us were. We have been vegetarian at home for over four years now and are satisfied with the results. We have, to an extent, become healthier and more resistant to illness. We still get sick but it's not a big deal for us. For example, last week we had the flu. But it wasn't debilitating. We all felt a little weak and some of us ran a fever while others had diarrhea but we were still able to go about our daily business and recovered in a couple of days. How we would fare against more serious illnesses, time will tell -- or a general check up that we're undergoing soon. At the very least, the fruit of our efforts is a greater understanding of the workings of our bodies. We no longer feel helpless in the face of health issues such as illness. We all need to inform ourselves well regarding how to take proper and holistic care of ourselves and our family members and apply what we learn so that we reach a point where we don't get sick at all. There are links in this blog that provide the information about health that we believe everyone should know. Please let us know what you think about them or if there are other sources you'd like to recommend. There's so much more that we could learn especially from other families that have read on and tried out healthy lifestyle changes themselves. Hopefully we can enrich each other and help each other become healthier through dialogue. Our health is truly in our hands.
Last week, the girls started to make a model of the solar system for one of their favorite subjects, Astronomy (believe it or not!) Through this subject they grow in their appreciation of God's creation. Actually it's just Noelle who's enrolled right now but Faye nevertheless benefits from her ate's lessons getting a headstart on each class that she sits in on (which is EVERY SINGLE ONE of them). They were both very excited to do this project as with most of their Astronomy lessons. They made styrofoam replicas of each planet. Noelle was very determined to color each replica as they are depicted in her reference book. She painted the larger and more complexly colored planets while Faye did the smaller ones. They both stuck to their tasks until they finished. They learned so much because this project stimulated their artistic inclinations. (Flexibility in terms of lesson plan helps a lot towards being more sensitive to their inspirations and interests.) Next they will assemble all the components according to their orbits.
My wife, Cathy, and I were campus ministers in a Catholic university when we got married. We had the privilege of accompanying young people as they got to know God (and themselves) better and helped them become instruments of God’s love in the world. As we did our jobs, we discovered how wounded so many kids are by the lack of active and positive parental influence in their lives. We also realized that we ourselves were similarly wounded and had no capacity to be in our line of work except by God’s grace.
Knowing all this, we were in no hurry to be parents because we were aware how delicate a responsibility it was. We felt we needed some time to learn how to do it. But God had other plans....
Just a few months after we got married, Cathy became pregnant with our first child, Noelle. We immediately went into panic mode. How could we, flawed as we were, give Noelle a better experience of being parented? We scrambled to find every resource that could help us. Fortunately, there were a number of guide books available that put into practical terms the kind of parenting that we envisioned.
But, of course, no book could really get us ready for what would happen -- the scheduling conflicts, the financial strain, the misunderstandings and arguments, the temper tantrums (of child and parents, alike), the sheer exhaustion, and the enduring anxiety of not really knowing whether or not we were doing things right.
Our desire to be deliberate full-time parents led us to make quite a few sacrifices for Noelle’s sake. One of the most difficult ones was to leave our jobs at the university so we could be more available for her. Campus ministry work was time-consuming, and often, when we would facilitate retreats, recollections and seminars, we would be away from home for days. We tried taking Noelle with us to work but it proved quite unmanageable in the long run. It was a heartbreaking decision because we found so much fulfilment in being youth formators. And, needless to say, going from a double-income family to, at best, a single-income one brought considerable anxiety. But how could we, in conscience, dedicate ourselves to the welfare of other people’s kids while neglecting to spend enough time with our own child?
Finding a new source of livelihood was therefore in order. Luckily, a good friend who was in the videography business needed a video editor. He offered to train me on the job so I could continue to earn while acquiring a new skill. I enjoyed it and decided to get into the business myself. It would fit our new life circumstances because I would be able to set up shop and work at home. Furthermore, I would need to go out only to meet clients, cover the events I would be booked for, and to take care of supplies and equipment.
In parenting our firstborn, the youth formators in us were almost obsessive-compulsive, especially regarding what Noelle was learning from everything that she was exposed to. We wanted to make sure she was constantly shown examples of love for God and love for others. We seldom let anyone else take care of her. We were wary even of leaving her at times with her grandparents! We could not expect others to have the same “game plan” for rearing Noelle, if they had any at all.
Consolation for our sacrifices came eventually. Before long, people would compliment us on Noelle’s good nature, as well as, her intelligence. We seemed to be on the right track.
Our next hurdle came when Noelle reached school age. Up to that point, we had taken charge of facilitating the right exposures for her on our own. Now we had to face the prospect of sharing that responsibility with formal educators. It was almost distressing enough to trigger another panic attack. How could we entrust the education of our child to someone else? The answer was as liberating as it was surprising: WE CAN PROVIDE HER FORMAL EDUCATION OURSELVES!
We had heard about homeschooling but we did not know that it was recognized in the Philippines. A magazine article we chanced upon providentially enlightened us on the homeschooling opportunities available locally. Through that article, we were able to find and contact The Master’s Academy Homeschool, an institution that we could trust to enable us in the area of formally educating our child, a school that, like us, values character formation more than academic excellence.
Noelle is now 9 years old and on her fourth year of homeschool. My wife, Cathy, is the one teaching her most of the time and I handle a couple of subjects. Noelle has developed a great love for learning. In fact, she is now helping to “homeschool” her four-year-old sister, Faye. She hasn’t been publicly acclaimed yet for any special talents or abilities although she is remarkably intelligent in many areas, not only in our opinion but that of her non-academics teachers, as well. Her piano teacher in the U.P. College of Music, for example, is impressed by her high aptitude in music and her careful deliberation in answering questions. But what really make her shine are still her friendliness, her good nature and her integrity. She knows herself, what she believes in and lives for and how to move others in the same direction. These to us are more important than any other claims to fame.
Our livelihood horizons have also widened. In late 2007, I got a job with the International Organization for Migration to provide housing and community assistance to some typhoon survivors in Bicol. It was new territory for us because I had been self-employed for four years before that and was totally in control of my work schedule. And besides, I would need to report in Bicol which is around 11 hours by land from Manila where we lived. We were wary about how this would affect our family life. Our solution was to relocate the whole family to Bicol and rent a house near the office. This was easy because we already had the self-contained home attitude as a foundation. Living in Bicol proved to be one of the most enriching experiences our family has ever had.
Through my work in Bicol, I rediscovered my love for writing. When the project and my employment with IOM ended, I decided to go into freelance writing as well as relaunch the videography business. I am also preparing myself for other employment and business opportunities, as well. I enjoy this much flexibility thanks to my being home-based.
We are thankful for the opportunity to stay at home with our kids. It is a unique privilege to almost always be close by to witness – and hopefully help – our children grow to be the persons God wants them to be. We are glad that through all the twists and turns of our family life, we have found ourselves where we are now – in the service of the Kingdom by bringing up children who are potent instruments of God’s love in the world.
